Hunters, Not Hinters

"What is it about us lady-creatures that makes us expect to be effortlessly interpreted [by our husbands]? That makes us believe subtlety should be enough and they should just know what we need, and how and when?"

Lindsay asked this question in her recent guest posting entitled mind-reading. Although I admitted that the answer to that question remained a mystery to me as well in my own Mind-Reading post, I've found an article written by someone who does have an answer!

Here's just a few of the things Lysa TerKeuerst has to say in her article Husbands are Hunter, Not Hinters:

• "Hints are a way for a wife to tell her husband something without coming out and saying it. Why would she want to do that? Because if she comes right out and says it, it ruins the outcome she desires. For example if your wife says to you, "I'm a little stressed out about Thursday. I've got a doctor's appointment, and I can't find anyone to watch Suzie." You might react by suggesting a few people she should ask or by telling her to reschedule. But what she's hinting to you is, "Will you take a late lunch and watch Suzie for me while I go to the doctor on Thursday?" What she wants to know is, in a bind, are you willing to go the extra mile for her? "

• "What I've come to realize is that husbands are hunters, not hinters. Men process things differently than women do. They hear a problem and instantly they hunt for a solution, shoot the idea our way, and check it off their list. They like quick, non-emotional solutions. Women, [on the other hand], are all about emotion. Behind many of the requests we hint about, there are underlying requests being made such as, "Show me you care," "Show me I'm special," or "Show me that you think of me during your day." We see our requests as relationship-building opportunities."

Hmmmm. Pretty interesting stuff, eh? If you'd like to read her entire article and find out some of her suggestions for overcoming this common communication problem between husbands and wives, click on this link: Husbands are Hunters, Not Hinters.